Featured on TheUrbanRealist
Contrary to your parents overbearing beliefs, being single isn’t indicative of a void in your love life. Instead it’s a step in your journey that’s devoted to self and exploring the depths of your own well-being, without the distractions. Take some time. Find yourself. Fall in Love with you. Stop the cycle of bad relationships and needy engagements that result in little more the sex. Know that often times when people question the degree of your happiness because you don’t have “someone to share it with” that what they are truly saying is that they wouldn’t know what to do without the person they’ve become so accustomed to. It’s true- freedom can be scary, but there is nothing more invigorating than having it. It leaves you solely responsible for your thoughts, actions, and feelings with no one there to be your punching bag. Being free from attachments allows your path to be more well defined without the influence of others weighing in on your livelihood. So cheers to the single life right? Here are all the sweet spots of being single…
1. Being able to discover your hobbies.
When you find yourself single after being in an ongoing Telenovela of relationships, it’s noticeable that the hobbies you picked up and things you spent your time doing weren’t exactly your passion. You may even feel a bit lost at first. If we aren’t able to define ourselves, then in our relationships with others, it can make finding who we really are even more of a challenge. The best way to get back to yourself is to do what feeds your soul. Find out what you like and do it. You like playing sports? Meet up with an intramural team at the park. You like reading? Join a local book club. This way it connects you to yourself, while connecting you to others with the same interests.
2. Defining your goals.
If you’re like me, you have so many random passions and ambitions that you easily find yourself getting side-tracked. This passion is a great quality, but can also become a major headache when you find that you’re not finishing things you start or not getting what you want out of life, thus feeling stuck. The best way to combat indecision and keep from spinning out in the sand of uncertainty is to define your goals. Make it real. Know exactly what you want but be flexible in the road to getting there, as they may be detours that take you to unexpected, but welcomed heights of achievement. The best part of doing this while you’re single? You don’t have to think about how decisions- like accepting a position that calls for you to relocate- will affect anyone but your pockets. Ching-ching.
Travel, travel, travel; it’s the cure for almost anything. Seeing the world helps put our lives in perspective as we come to realize how minuscule our frustrations are in the grand scheme of life and that there are different ways of doing things that aren’t wrong. Being open-minded is a valuable personality trait and being around a culture of community so different than where we call home leaves us no choice.
In all, just enjoy life. If you do meet that special someone, remember all the great things that you are and have seen and accomplished and that you are a separate, interesting, mysterious person all within yourself that someone should take the time to get to know. So the next time someone asks you why you’re single, you can just tell them that you’re living. That’s all.
Photo by Ryan Moreno; Cover photo by Atlas Green